3 GOP Debate Thoughts

Iain Coston

Author's Note: I watched the entire (?) big debate before people actually start voting for the Republican candidate on Monday. Here's some stuff.

I like to think of the GOP debates along the lines of a super cool gladiator fight. Just without the gladiators, the cool, and the super....Actually, I take that back. Debate is cool. Yeah, that's right, I think debate is cool. You know who else does probably? 

Dope.

Alright, here are three things that stood out to me last night.

1. The GOP is still diverse
Even without Trump (see below) different people said different things about different ideas that have different implications. That either means the Grand Old Party is fractured, rife with creativity, or doesn't know what's going on. I'd like to think it's the second one, most people probably think the first, and I'm sure it's actually the third...but then again that describes most of my life. 

Yes I am.

As far as what specifically happened, let me indulge you. Rubio did his Rubio thing and talked a lot about how America needs a super-boss good army and how Rand Paul is a terrorist and Ted Cruz is an enabler because he voted for something Paul liked. I would have appreciated it more if Marco Polo kept that in it's own field of defense, instead of trying to bring up how horrible Rand Paul is whenever he was mentioned.

Luckily, there was also good discussion on Iran sanctions, like how long one should wait to tear up the Iran deal. I think the average time was five minutes after the first cup of afternoon tea at the White House. 

Besides that, there was the usual discussion of how many tax cuts there should be, where they should be, and when they should be. If you like ideas for tax reform, this was a buffet.

Also, there was debate between who among the top-tier candidates would get the "liberty" vote that Ron Paul created within the GOP. Which I can only assume created some semblance of awkwardness when the moderators asked Rand Paul what he thought of his dad (Ron) thinking Ted Cruz would get those votes. That's more awkward than...

*shivers*
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In the end, Rand laid down a sick burn by claiming that Cruz was the only Republican to miss the vote on auditing the fed soooo if you're a nerd and know what that means, then you'll know that comment was total fire. 

2.Clinton got bashed

Bet you didn't see that coming. You know though, the best line on this subject came from Carly Fiorina, even though she was regulated to the under-card debate. You'll see it on the interwebs at some point, but when asked about Clinton, the former HP CEO said,  "She says she's qualified for the white house, she's probably more qualified for the big house."

Oh Snap

I mean, she won't win and stuff, which sometimes makes me sad, but she can really whip out one-liners like Harrison Ford used to whip out six packs. He still kind of does, but now it's the other kind.
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(whisper)...beer...
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Shhhhh...this is a family friendly blog.
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Sorry...
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Anywho, bashing Clinton is a very knee-jerk reaction at this point, but I mean, that's also what you have to do if you still want to get those obligatory applause moments.

3. Trump kind of proved a point

At this stage in the race, only a few great lines are going to maaaayyybe make a difference. There were a few good ones, but as far as taking down Trump goes, it's like hurling a purple sock filled with D batteries at John Cena. 

Yikes...but I would literally pay to see you do that.

Trump wasn't even there too guys. HE WASN'T EVEN THERE. As badly as many of Americans (and many around the world) would have liked to see Trump take a hit, I'm not sure that happened. There wasn't much that these other GOPers did to make them look even better than the Donald. Because of this, you should dislike the other candidates even more. Why? Because now (if his poll numbers rise or stay the same) Trump can use this to prop himself up. The candidates didn't do much (or enough) to create separation. He can now say he doesn't even need to show up to do well. And if you don't agree then you need to go home and rethink your life.

Thank you Zoidberg.

Point is, Trump probably won in the end, so go home and eat some Little Debbie doughnuts. Preferably chocolate. 

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Iain Coston