Author's Note: Words should mean things, amiright?
Yes, the presidential race is...still going. We've had poll after poll after poll. And debate after debate after debate. Yet somehow we're still weeks away from people actually going to the booths and voting.
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Gee Iain, that's not too bad.
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No no, I'm sorry. Not for voting for president. Just for the candidates placed in this rigid two-party system. Then those candidates will face off. Then they will do more campaigning. Then there will be more debates. Theeeeennn we'll be able to vote for the president. Oh, and probably not the one that you really ever wanted. Just the one that this two-party system allows you to vote for.
There, there, don't you fret. I've concocted something to help decipher who you might want to vote for. For this (and future) election cycle(s), here are three words to question whenever anyone wanting to be president utters them.
Comprehensive
This is a get-out-of-jail free card when asked about how to solve a problem. When questioned on how a candidate is going to fix a problem, and how it's different from the laws already on the books, candidates simply answer "comprehensive reform" and everyone applauds. Does this mean less control, more control, effiecient control? What man, what? When you listen to the actual words articulated by these homo sapiens, they are saying nonsense (surprising, right?). It's especially common from the already crowned Democratic Nominee.
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Adviser whispers in ear.
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Ooohhh.....
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It's especially common from the Democratic frontrunner......Great save Iain....
Here's a drinking game for you (apple juice of course): Every time Hillary Clinton says "comprehensive", drink a shot of whatever liquid you are consuming (mom, I'm serious, I'll be playing with apple juice). You'll be filled with nutritious liquids within minutes.
You're welcome mom's of America.
Choice
Children, no candidate means actual, complete freedom of choice on everything, or even most things. When someone claims another is "anti-choice" it's not a thing (I know, I know, people are usually referencing abortion, but roll with me here). At least, not in the general sense. Maybe deep down, some of these gentlemen and gentleladies will desire that, but will never admit it, and will never ever ever try to slip it through legislation. They just don't want everyone to have choice in every area. For instance, I've heard somewhere that Donald Trump wants to make America great again. One of the ways he wants to do this is enabling school choice and getting the federal government out of the way. He even wrote a book about it. But when it comes to international business trades, he's not a fan of freedom for American business owners. It seems like anyone who doesn't agree with 100% of what the man says is penalized just for not jumping on the Trump hair-wagon. Now, I'm all for USA, and like a true American, I enjoy me some freedom. That reminds me of another American Hero.....
Yes indeed Captain Planet. The power is indeed mine.
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sniffs
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Diversity
Don't worry, I love diversity. I embrace it. I encourage it. I am a product of it...multiple times over. It is because I am such a lover of mixes and matches that I do not enjoy parties trying to be the most diverse for the sake of attaining it. Just because you have diversity doesn't guarantee success, but that's for another time...
In politics, it is crucial to have different points of view, but having different races for the sake of being different doesn't always mean it's being done out of honesty.
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Iain, that's insatiable. We need to make sure we have different races represented. The Democrats have been doing a great job of having diversity of both race and background. Unlike those racist Republicans.
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Harumph
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Look, I'm not saying any party is any more or less racist than the other, but we should stop pretending that in general (notice my emphasis?) you can call one party more inclusive than the other...especially when that party-that-shall-not-be-named has three (and only three) white people---sorry...that's insensitive--- three honkies in their party. You're welcome.
So there you go. Words to not live by and that mean nothing in the 2016 race. Let's hold our politicians to higher standards.
Sorry, haha, couldn't help myself.
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-Iain Coston
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